OK I PROMISED I AM SO GONNA BLOG ABT IT AND YES, NOW I AM GONNA DO IT.
this is worse then shit kinda feeling. its not juz anger, but injustice perhaps?
what the freaking hell is the world getting to?! i dun actually love to go about swearing in this peaceful blog of mine, but i cant take it anymore!
FARKKK!
so this is how it goes. prove to me justice actually exists if u can, and i wil buy you a macdonalds' meal.
A goes, tmr dance prac at newton..ok?
B replies with,y sunday performance tmr den start practising?
and so A said sth like.. have been busy.. tmr u cannot ar?
B den states the fact in a v nice manner.. i just wonder how is it possible for me to learn shake in so few days.. thurs and fri evening i cant make it..i've got arrangements alrd.
and after a long tym, A returns a reply tat reads,: okay. den dun dance alr.
there after, B read some stuff tat's really disturbing.
WOW. since in tat case, B stops messaging alrd. sounds and looks pointless too.
okay, tell me what's wrong with me having arrangements alrd for thurs and fri? c'mon, practically the WHOLE WORLD who are on good terms wif me noes wat a big day thurs is for me. SO MANY PPL noe tat im gonna party hard on thurs and fri. wat more to say, one of you used to be so close to me, AND i've asked you along! BUT, look tat the table's turnin' round.
think tat its all excuses? but even YOU know tat i will surely not b avail on thurs and fri, or at least fri. and both of u noe tat i dun pick up v fast. so wat's with the super last min prac? you guys shud hv bear hard in mind my weakness upon approaching me for the thingy. i can nv b like u guys. say tat im lousy, say tat im slow, wateva it is, taking tym to pick up and rem steps is my weak point. guess those of us who used to dance tgt all noe tat somehow or rather. so why still wait til 4 days before the performance den mit up for prac? and do u guys actually EXPECT me to keep every evening free for u all, whn i hear no news abt the prac? told me tat i'll be updated of the practices, and ive been waiting on sunday and last nite. but no news. i hv been so free since sunday, and it wil last til wed. my only plans are on thurs and fri. is it actually WRONG for me to hv pre-arrangements? so you guys can be busy for all you care, and i CANT?
i dun see why, those words came out from you. to think tat those were excuses from me, to comment wif ugly words. like it or not, those words pierce the heart. bothered or not are you, i hv to say tat i felt wronged, accused and so damn much unfair. like i said, wat's wif the fact tat u guys can b busy, while i cant hv my arrangements? dun come and tell me, i shud prac instead of partying in a club, cuz i think i well deserve the party. it has been a long wait for my frds and i, to club tgt wif me; all tgt. and it has been a long tough road al this while, i dun see why i cant be enjoying myself on tat v special day tat marks the new part of my life.
everybody is saying tat they had enuf, evn yrselves. but look at it again, why din u guys tried to put in the effort to change tat lil bit of prob, of always doing things last min? pls try to respect me, the fact tat i hv my personal space and life; tat i hv the rights to make plans of wat im gonna do in the days ahead. and if by mentioning tat i've alrd got plans for thurs and fri are excuses tat seem so ultimately er xin, den whn im told tat u guys hv been busy (wif no idea wat u guys hv been busy with), shud i see it as an er xin de excuse too?
gosh. i dun look like a shit tat much, do i? den y am i always made to feel like one?
enuff said. ive got my point across. like it or not, this is the very factual feeling i had.
and to add, this is not a negative change in me or sort. i've simply learnt to be more firm and give myself a much clearer stand to speak up. ive learnt not to be so giving like the past after all tat talking with the girls. and i agree with them, if i continue to be so giving, i'm gonna be bullied by others, or if not, taken for granted.
ended wif a stil foul mood.
sharon, irene, and my sweets, i juz wish to hug u guys now to ease this bad feeling.